Bittersweet
by this is only a test
Summary: Cherry's new boyfriend is every she could have hoped for and more, but moving on is easier said than done. Post book.


Disclaimer: I don't own.

AN: Thanks for the reviews on everything! :)

I twiddled my thumbs, as I sat in my desk, trying as best I could to pay attention to Mrs. Lawrence, but I simply couldn't concentrate. My head felt like it was spinning and my knuckles were ghost white. To say I was a nervous wreck would be an understatement. I told myself over and over again I wasn't gonna pass out. Or worse, throw up, like I had yesterday.

God, talk about embarrassing ... Thankfully I'd managed to make it out of the classroom and into the bathroom in time, but people weren't gonna buy the, "I ate something that didn't agree with me," excuse for long. Somehow I had to get ahold of myself. I didn't know what had gotten into me lately, but for whatever reason, my stomach couldn't hold anything. Maybe my sister Elaine was right: my nerves really were getting the best of me.

I could hardly help it, though. It'd only couple months since Bob was killed, and as much as I told myself I hated him and his lazy drunk ass, I loved him.

God, I'd give anything just for the chance to end on good terms with him. But it was too late for that now. He was gone—dead—and I was just gonna have to accept that.

I wiped my eye quickly before any sign of tearing up was visible of my face. The last thing I need was everybody asking what was wrong. They'd probably think I was crazy, still losing it this long after his death. Yes, it'd only been a few months, but that was when a normal person was supposed to move on, right?

I bit my lip and focused all my attention to the notebook on my desk. Creeping out of the top corner was the paper Mrs. Lawrence had handed back to me at the beginning of class. You could make out the tip of the bold red F at the top of the paper. I sighed. My grades had slipped from A's to C's and D's, and glory, Dad would give me a mouthful once he caught word of it. He'd say something like, "How are you supposed to get into college with grades like this?" or "I thought my daughter was smarter than this!" I could practically hear his voice booming in the back of my head, and it was making me cringe.

I loved Daddy, and I suppose you could say I was a Daddy's girl, but sometimes I wished he'd put less pressure on us to be perfect members of society. Lord knows, having him on my case about grades was about the last thing I need right now.

I swallowed hard and looked up. Enough self-pity. This was getting ridiculous. I'd had a couple months to move on, and there was no reason why everything should've been affecting me this much.

_Fake it 'til you make. _On the outside, I was fine. Hell, I'd snagged myself a new boyfriend—an even better one than Bob at that—and my friends and I were as golden as ever. I was certainly faking it, alright; I just hadn't quite made it yet.

I took another deep breath and allowed myself to relax. I had a date tonight. Today didn't have to be as terrible as I was letting it become.

XXX

Shit, shit, shit.

I struggled again for the millionth time, trying to zip the zipper at the top of my skirt. Grasping the tiny piece of metal, I pulled upward with as much strength as I possibly could until my fingers were about to bleed. I pulled my hand away and shook it a couple times before giving it another go. Taking a deep breath, I sucked my stomach all the way, and yanked the zipper and …

Shit! The damn thing broke. I tossed my hands up in the air, heaved a heavy sigh, and threw myself back unto my bed. This was just perfect. First, I'd failed my English test and nearly had a mental breakdown, and now I was too fat for my own clothing.

"I give up," I said, conceding to my pathetically dismal state.

Elaine looked up from her magazine and laughed. "Better cut back on all those sweets, hon."

I sat up quickly and shot her a nasty look. "For your information, _Elaine_, this skirt has always been tight."

"Mhmm, and I've always been the Queen of England."

I sighed again and choose to ignore her comment. I'd had a rough day already, and I wasn't about to let stupid Elaine put me in an even worse mood before my date with Sam. Besides, I wasn't _that _fat; I'd just been retaining a lot of water for some reason. Probably because I was going to get my period in a couple days.

I pulled myself off the bed and walked over to my closet. There had to be something besides that skirt I could wear tonight. But piecing through the hangers, my options weren't numerous. I could either wear that ugly dress Grandma had bought me for Easter last year or that even uglier hand me down skirt from my her eldest sister, Christine. Everything else was either too small or dirty.

"Hey, El, can I borrow something of yours?"

She grinned, turning the page of the magazine. "I dunno," she drawled. "You might stretch the fabric"

"Shut _up_!" I snapped, which only made Elaine giggle more. She thought she was real funny, but all she was was real annoying.

"Oh, sweetie, no need to get yourself all worked up." I wasn't sure what bothered me more: her insulting me or being fake nice. "Just a little bit of extra weight is all."

I groaned and caught glance of myself in the mirror. Geez, I probably had put on a few, but still it wasn't enough to stretch out her clothing.

I walked back over to our closet, grabbed a skirt of hers, and put it on anyway. It was a little loose if anything, and boy, did that feel good.

"You know, El," I began, "I probably put on ten pounds, and your skirt's _still _big on me." I realized full and well I was being bitchy, but I didn't care. Two could play that game.

"Honey, you've needed curves for a long time. Feel better now that you're a _real_ women?" Glory, she was impossible, and if she dared called me sweetie or honey again, I was gonna smack her. That was her thing for whatever reason: addressing everyone with terms of endearment. I hated it, and people thought I was the stuck up Valance.

I grumbled and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind me. I didn't need to deal with Elaine and her, "I'm so happy and wonderful and perfect!" attitude right now.

"Cherry!" I was halted by my ten year old sister. She stood in front of me, smiling like she wanted something out of me.

I crossed my arms and sighed. "What?"

"Can I borrow your makeup?"

"No."

"We don't have to tell Mother!"

"No!" I said louder.

"But I wanna know what it feels like to have all that shi—"

"Anna!"

"—stuff on my face."

"No," I repeated. "Where'd you learn that word anyway?"

"What word?" she asked, grinning innocently.

"Never mind..." I gently pushed her aside and continued to the bathroom to do my hair and makeup As much as I loved my kid sister, I didn't have time to deal with her either; I had a date in a half hour.

XXX

Before long I was sitting on the front porch, waiting for Sam to pick me up. Any minute now, he'd be there, and I was beginning to get a bit ansty. I just wanted to move on to the fun part of the day. School'd been anything but fun, and my sisters certainly weren't making anything better.

I perked up when I saw his car pull into the driveway. He got out, and like the gentleman he was, opened the passenger door for me, and I quickly landed a peck on his check before getting in.

"Ready?" he asked.

"You've no idea."


End file.
